Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Marriage, a forever affair, are there limits?

A friend is experiencing this

I met my husband eight years ago in the most bizzare way. let me say, i am huge , really tall and big, not your everyday average pretty looking girl.Back then, my parents were a little too overbearing and protective. We were driven back and forth home to school (university oh). I never experienced the teenage boyfriend/ girlfriend moments, all these affected my psyche and confidence. As I got older and still the men were not forthcoming, I began to get worried and anxious, so much that I put up an advert seeking for love. I got a lot of responses from my adverts, to cut a long story short, I met the man I finally married through this ad thingy, bizzare right?

We were in love so much that, this is the first time I am admitting how we met despite my husband's express instructions not to reveal this. We got married despite the fact that my husband was not financially stable but I was comfortable, I had a good job and was from a rich home. Money was not an issue so his financial was not important. I practically sponsored my husband's master's programme in one of the country's most prestigious university. it wasn't cheap. I was happy to do all these because I loved him.

We took a lot of trips abroad on vacation, I bought him a car for his use. When he was done with his masters, I used my family's connection to get him a job in a blue chip company. It was just a matter of time before his financial status changed for the better.

All this while, there was no children between us, it was just the two of us living in a duplex in a highbrow location in Lagos. My husband was the every inch the loving husband, supportive, following me from one gynaecologist to the other, where we were assured that, we were both physically and medically okay to have children. I worried so much that I started losing weight that i couldn't lose during my youth, i took a good look at myself one day and i liked what i was seeing. I went out changed my wardrobe and got a total makeover. My confidence was taken up a notch, i felt more confident at work and even with my husband. A good thing you would say but that was the turning point for me. I lost myself in all the euphoria of the moment.

There was this younger guy at the office who i never even dared to dream about, he started paying me compliments on my looks (Gosh, he noticed me), my heart would beat excitedly every time i caught him staring. At an office party, alcohol in my system made me bolder, i danced with this guy flirtatiously and before the night was over, we had gone at each other at least thrice at a nearby motel. I felt remorseful for about a fleet of second. I couldn’t get enough of the guy, before long we were regulars at the motel.

I threw all cautions to the wind and let my heart creep into it, i fell hopelessly in love with this guy and i started seeing my husband in a new light, obese, balding uncouth guy who i chose because i thought couldn’t do better.

As you read this, i am four months pregnant for my lover, a pregnancy, my husband thinks is a miracle from God. I want to scream the truth at him, i really don’t care much for his feelings because i feel i have done a lot for him, raised him from grass to grace despite my parent’s objections initially. My pregnancy proves, he is the infertile one and i think he knew this but kept the truth from me. He probably knows the pregnancy is not his. Please don’t ask me how i know, i just know.

My dilemma is how do i leave him without creating a scandal, my parent’s will have a fit, our social circle, wow i will be a laughing stock, my pastor will be totally disappointed. I have thought severally of approaching my husband for a pay off (a huge one at that) that would enable him relocate and make it look like, he was the one that left.  I brought my husband into my world, now i want him out. I want to maintain my dignity but i want to be with my lover, everyday without him is total hell for me.

I hope desperation will not drive me to do something as extreme as poisoning my husband just to be rid of him. Please help me. I need to do something fast.

I don’t want lose my new found love.


  1. this na clear case of i chop beleful, i dey find the one wey go burst my bele. Pscheew

    1. Olaitan, this is your story, has it resulted in this, publishing your story on the worldwide web? Anyways you did same to hook a man, you are pathetic!!!!

  2. All i can say is she should be careful before she loses her true love, a man who accepted her for who she is, orobo, ugly and desperate! Kept her secret of advertisment for years, yes he might have know he was sterile but who is perfect. Let him who is without sin cast the first stone. Her lover might not want her for keeps. A word is enough for the wise

  3. Haba, wahala no dey this thing na, sho? send him my way, let me meet me him, in no time he will be cheating on you and he will be the one to ask for a divorce. You see that God answers prayer. I don pray, fast tire even go for deliverance on husband matter. Please give me his contacts. If he is as loving and kind as you have described, then i dont care if he looks like a gibbon. Abegiiiiiiii

  4. I feel sorry for you, it means you didnt even love the guy in the first palce. I bet it was just the euphoria of finding a man that made it feel like love. Just prepare to be alone because your lover won't take into his life