Tunde was overjoyed with the news
of my pregnancy. He insisted we go register at a maternity home and see a
doctor immediately. I was a bit sceptical and still overwhelmed with the news,
how would my family take the news, pregnant out of wedlock. How would i face
them in church? I wouldn’t be marrying in a church that was the first thought
that sunk my mind.
We saw the doctor and he told us
me i was three months gone, i enquired how soon i would begin to show, he
responded that it depends on body type, that most women would already have an
evident baby bump. This news further heightened my anxiety. We needed to get
married urgently!
All through the drive home as
Tunde chattered away, i was deep in thought; it occurred to me that i had never
met any member of Tunde’s family, not even a distant cousin. I was too
enthralled in the happiness of having a man like him that i threw caution to
the wind and forgot the important things. I had enquired about Tunde’s family once;
he had this strange look on his face, when he told me he was an orphan, he
changed the subject immediately like “an end of discussion stance”. I thought
it was odd but didn’t push it because i didn’t want arguments between us.
As we drove home, that day, i
summoned up all the courage in me and ventured to ask him in a squeaky voice,
as if i dreaded the answer, “Tunde, who are we now going to inform from your
side?” I felt foolish as i asked that questions, this was a man i had known for
almost two years and i didn’t know if he had any siblings even if he is an
orphan. The smile on his way disappeared as if i threw cold water in his way, i
shifted in my seat nervously and i held my breath waiting for his answer. When
i waited over five minutes and i didn’t receive an answer, i sucked in my
breath and asked again. I should have never asked, maybe i should have just
waited to see how events would play out.
He swung the car sharply to the
side of the road, i don’t think he parked the car properly before he turned to
me shouting at the top of his voice, TOMINWA, TOMINWA, we are not telling
anyone. We are getting married without telling anyone. Not even your family! I
was still reeling from the shouting that the words he was hauling at me did not
register. Not even my family! At that moment i felt like i was drowning as i
fought for the handle of the car door, i flung it open and jumped down, i just
wanted to get some air into my lungs. As my feet touched the ground, i broke
into a run, tears were streaming down my eyes, what had i gotten myself into?
Who is this man with no family, no background that i had fallen in love with. I
wanted to get away from him with the hope i would run far away to rewind my
life back to before i met him.
Cries brought me back with a
sharp reality to earth, people were screaming and i looked and a crowd had
gathered, in the middle of the road, some of them were beckoning at me, i
couldn’t comprehend but dread started building up in me, the door Tunde’s side
of the car was missing, like it had been torn off and a truck was motionless a
few meters away. The crowd was in front of the truck. I started running back
and as i got near the crowd and looked at what everyone else was staring at. I
lost consciousness, it Was Tunde bloodied and lifeless body!
My people, my story is that of a woman
who would blame herself till the day i take my last breath. I killed the father
of my unborn child, i found a man who accepted me as i was, a man who loved me
unconditionally, who took care of me, who turned my life around and i couldn’t
accept him as he was. Family or no family, what made me run from the car that
day, what devil took hold of me, what fear gripped me, what was i so afraid of
discovering that i ran.
If i hadn’t run run from the car,
Tunde wouldn’t have tried to come after me and the truck wouldn’t have hit him.
He would be right here with me.
Yes i discovered that Tunde was
married to a lady back in the states but their marriage was long over even
though they were not divorced yet. Tunde was indeed an only child and was
raised by his father’s brother who was deceased as well. He left all his
fortunes to Tunde. Tunde met his wife in the states while schooling abroad and
they got married soon after university but the lady didn’t want to relocate to
Nigeria with Tunde when it became necessary to come back to take over his
uncle’s business.
Here i am, the love of my life
gone! I snuffed life out of him because of my own foolishness, Tunde never
changed his will, so his fortunes went to the wife in states and that’s how i
found out about her. She wasn’t interested in the construction firm and asked
his lawyers to arrange the sales. She left the house to me and my unborn child
and expressed wishes to still be in touch as the child would be her last and
only link to her late husband. She must have still been in love with Tunde as
she even promised to support the child in case i couldn’t manage.
As i await the delivery of my
child, it should be a thing of joy but all i feel is emptiness and sorrow,
Tunde if only you could come back to me, i would still love you, even if i had
to be a second wife, as long as i can still be with you. What made you think, i
wouldn’t understand the situation, were you so afraid of losing me, that you
couldn’t tell me the truth. I wish i never met you, at least i wouldn’t have
experienced this much joy only to be replaced with this emptiness.
